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Felecia avatar

I am so thankful to have found this site. As a personal caregiver, I have been able to provide mental and physical stimulation to a variety of "shut in" family and friends with information and activities I have found here.

My question is in dealing with "professional" personnel. Home health providers (professional and para professional) seem to discredit partial memory loss as a TOTAL lack of understanding. They drone on in front of my loved one about the negative issues of health and side effects which cause distress and fear later on. They have even gone on when I try to stop them, to question "can you hear me? do you understand me? do you know what day it is?" etc., to which my loved on has answered yes and even expanded on, but they continue to drone on. While a loved one/patient may not be able to state the exact date, (as common with many shut-ins) that does not mean they do not understand at least part of their health and possible worse case scenarios. That does not mean they do not have fear about their situation getting worse.

I have directly discussed, written notes and restated to them the distress they are prompting and asked it they "need" to read the generic computer "patient education" from their tablet to do so in private with me, but to leave the patient in peace as there is enough understanding left to strike fear in them that even causes sleep disturbance. (and me, but we are both educated and experienced in health and know at least most of the possibilities. That does NOT mean we want or need to dwell on the worst.) Yet somehow, I am the "words I cannot type" villain in the situation.

Any suggestions on how to get people (especially professionals) to understand that some memory or understanding issues DOES NOT mean ALL? That ALL patients deserve respect? That mental health (memory/confusion, fear, depression, etc) is a part of their overall health? That perhaps discretion is important?

Thank you and God Bless you all and Healthy Wishes for the New Year!

Susan avatar

Hi Felicia

What you are describing is sometimes is common in caregivers professional and otherwise

I would think that whoever is providing the professional help would educate the staff on exactly what you said

You can always request a different caregiver and state your reasons why you are doing so

There are also many support groups out there for family caregivers which describes how to care for a loved one in the most respectful and good way

Unfortunately too many family members are too busy to do this

There are even online support groups that people can join

https://www.verywellhealth.com/best-dementia-support-groups-4843171

https://www.aplaceformom.com/caregiver-resources/articles/caregiver-support-groups

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Annelize Steyn
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Annelize Steyn

Golden Carers has researched articles on dementia activities, men’s activities, dealing with challenging behaviour, and more. Thank you for a great web site. Professional! Informative! Well researched! Innovative!